Just Some Thoughts

It's August and I'm tired and there are crickets singing and I just finished reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. 

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There's a fantasy novel brewing inside me. It's teaching me to jump into writing without worrying about quality or a complete plan. I'm starting with some haphazard world-building, a few characters I like a lot, some bad guys with motives yet to be discovered, and an epic soundtrack in my head. 

*shrugs* I'm a writer. It's a start.

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This morning I woke up in a tent with friends, sore from hiking 13.5 miles yesterday. We drank coffee together around a campfire, most of us in jackets because the air had a bit of a chill snap to it for deep summer. We talked about Jesus and relationships, two topics right now that at once feed a desire inside me and make me squirm. 

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I'm home, doing laundry, reminding myself to drink water, picking my way around objects in a messy room, wrestling with big life questions but for once leaning into them and wrestling instead of running away. Sometimes the biggest battles are fought in the midst of laundry and trying to find something edible in the fridge.

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I've been thinking about seasons. God didn't have to give us seasons, but He did, just like fireflies and waterfalls and sunrises. Spring, summer, fall, winter, if you're in the right places around the world, you get all four and it reminds you that change is good. I need change, a change from sluggish warm air and the memories trapped with it. I need air with that fresh snap I got a taste of this morning, air that promises new things. 

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2017 has felt out of sorts. It's been a year of exploration and learning, and of discovering emotional pain strong enough to be felt physically. It's been a year of discovering how to befriend that pain rather than ignore it, fight it, or submit to it. If pain is my friend, I can learn from it, it can be the iron that sharpens me as one man sharpens another. 

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Last year, I was the person content to stay far back from the edge of the cliff. Thirty feet away was close enough. Yesterday I discovered that now I'm the person who army-crawls up to the edge of the drop-off and peers over, nose against dusty rock, watching the treetops sway fifty feet below. I am new and I don't know who the old me was last year and that is good and normal and okay. 

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Is it so hard to imagine that the Creator of the universe might actually know what He's doing in my life, that He might actually know what's best? Is it so hard to imagine that life comes in seasons because He has things for me to learn and experience, and that He gives me the strength to walk and breathe through each one? Is it so hard to imagine that He is wiser and has been doing this Father and Savior thing for eternity, in which there is no beginning or end, and I have no reason to distrust Him, is it so hard to imagine that He is outside of time and true comprehension and is not limited to anything, let alone my circumstances or my failures? 

How prideful it would be to think that my failures could limit God. 

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The TV is in front of me, but I think I'll start another book. Out of Sorts, by Sarah Bessey. Appropriate. I need a book that I can relate to right now and I have a strong feeling that this will be one of them. 

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Just some thoughts, friends. Feel free to share yours.

Cheers,

Alicyn 

Photo by ANDRIK ↟ LANGFIELD ↟ PETRIDES on Unsplash

Fifty-Two Books

For someone who wants to be a published author someday (preferably in the near future), I don't read nearly enough.

I had a decent excuse for not reading half of the library books I checked out this semester - I was in a literature class, and it required a lot of my reading time. But I don't really want to make that an excuse for not reading. I had plenty of time in which I lazily decided that scrolling my Instagram feed was more appealing.

So, despite having signed myself up for a 300-level honors literature college course, I'm making it one of my New Year's resolutions to read 52 books during the year of 2017.

That's one book a week.

I made a list of fifty-two books, but in all likelihood I'll have to trade some of those out for the books I get as reading assignments from class. That's okay - just as long as I do my best to hit the quota, I'll be satisfied. Reading is so important to me, for so many reasons - not just because I've always been a book worm, but because I'm a writer too. Thus, reading, in essence, is work, because by reading I expose myself to other writers' styles, thereby influencing and shaping my own. There are so many benefits to reading - so if you feel up to it, why don't you join me and make a list of your own? Here are a few of the books featured on mine:

Black Dove White Raven by Elizabeth Wein

I fell in love with this author's writing when I read two of her WWII novels, Code Name Verity and Rose Under Fire. I started this new novel of her's earlier this year but didn't finish it - something about it didn't grip me like the others had - yet I still want to, so of course it's on the list! 

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

Yeah, I know...I'm pretty late on this one. But it's never too late to read a book, amiright?

Needless to say, sad teen romances are not my thing, but I broke down and watched the movie when I found it on TV recently. So naturally, the book made the list (despite the tears/pain/feels the movie caused me).

Out of Sorts by Sarah Bessey

I follow this author's blog, and her writing is absolutely stunning. I heard about this book a while back and can't wait to get my hands on it. 

A Million Little Ways by Emily P. Freeman

I had the privilege of hearing Emily P. Freeman speak at a conference in September, and my mom has been recommending this book to me ever since. I've heard it's a must for anyone whose passions lie in the art spectrum. 

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness

Considering what I've heard about Patrick Ness's work, and that there's a movie adaption of this coming out now, I think it's about time to give it a read. 

So there you have it! Five out of fifty-two of my books for 2017. We'll see how far I get - I'll be satisfied if I even make it halfway through, just as long as I'm reading, reading, reading. 

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What books would you put on your list?

Cheers, 

Alicyn